photographer {emily ulmer}

emily and i were destined to meet.  i was first introduced to the utterly amazing work of emily ulmer by a good friend of ours almost two years ago.  she had shot our friend's kids and her photos were stunning.  the images just captured them beautifully in such a suspension of a moment.  i started following her work and noticed she had taken lots of photos of friends' children.  her images are so unique, deep and seem to absolutely capture the essence of the child she's photographing.

recently, bea's godfather posted a photo of himself & bea on instagram and emily commented on the photo saying that she wanted her "camera to meet {her}."  a few days after that, i was at my dear friend elizabeth's house and she mentioned off-hand that she had written a note to her friend emily and told her about bea and that she needed to photograph her...

some things are just meant to be...the connections were bringing us closer.  we managed to meet in person and emily offered to photograph bea.  this month, we had the honor of having emily in our home, we spent a few hours together, with the morning light filtering through the windows, chatting and laughing, while she photographed bea.  she was so easy and comfortable with bea...it was like she just opened up for emily and let her inside her world.

if you are lucky enough to live in the los angeles area, emily is offering a special rate for holiday portraits...1 hour session for 4 prints.  please feel free to contact emily at info@emilyulmer.com to capture the beautiful moments in your little's life.  not only will you get to have some amazing photos, you'll enjoy the time spent with emily as she's truly a treasure.

{photo credit:  emily ulmer}

dusty blog...cough, cough...

yes, this blog is dusty...my daughter's favorite book right now is odd duck, by cecil castellucci.  i read it almost daily.  there's a page where the heroine, theodora (the odd duck?...no spoilers here, you gotta get the book), goes to the library and checks out books that "haven't been checked out in years," as max the librarian says as he's coughing and dusting them off.  that's a little bit how i feel about this blog right now.  i took i hiatus, but i didn't really announce it...and i'm still not sure if i'm back.  i'm blogging for brands now, so that seems to take up a lot of my time.  also, i've been really struggling about how much should i be blogging about my daughter on the internet?

this whole blog started out personal...our wedding...then beatrice...when she was a baby, it didn't bother me so much, but now that she's getting older, becoming a girl, i hesitate. for some reason posting pictures on instagram and twitter doesn't seem to bother me so much, but the act of sitting down and posting photos and writing about beatrice just doesn't seem to sit right with me.  but some of my favorite bloggers blog about their families and children all the time...in fact, that's what i love about them so much...i feel connection, i can see the authenticity...i love the glimpse into their family...it's like taking a walk at night, i love it when houses are all aglow and i can see inside, i love to crane my neck to see if i can get a glimpse of what is going on inside my neighbor's house.

i've been writing and editing a lot lately too for my job, so sometimes after sitting at the computer all day long, the last thing i want to do is sit down and the computer and write some more.  we're trying to raise beatrice, at least in the early years, without screens, and that includes this one i'm staring at...so it's also not something i feel comfortable doing with her around.

i don't know what the answer is, but i know i love the amazing people i have met through blogging and i still have great relationships with them.  some of their blogs are personal, some have transformed into something much bigger.  i'm not sure how this blog will transform or what the next steps will be, but i'm putting myself back out in the universe and seeing what will return.

i'd love to hear your thoughts on blogging about your kids...

{photo credit: emily ulmer}

gratitude is a state of mind

while i appreciate the attention that gratitude is getting on this day of the year, i can't stop to think that being grateful should be a full time endeavor.  we went to the waldorf school elves' faire last weekend and a cute elf came up to us at our table while we were eating lunch and presented us with a basket.  she said:  "choose a fortune."  bea reached her little hand in, still sticky from vegan beans and rice, and pulled out a tiny scroll with a tiny ribbon around it.  i helped her carefully unroll it.  in lovely calligraphy it read:

gratitude is riches.  complaint is poverty.

our life is so rich.  we have food, clothing & shelter, we have family, we have friends and we have lots of love.  while our lives aren't perfect and we face challenges everyday {like disheartening phone calls trying to get health insurance and being told "yes, if you were married you would pay less each month."}, but above all we are so amazingly blessed.  everyday i wake up, i try to remember that and at the very least make a mental list of all the things i'm grateful for.  everyday.

every single day.

{photo credit:  jamie street}

music mondays {kitten}

loving this song from kitten right now.

our love for hyland's

yes...we really do love hyland's teething tablets. a lot.

family photography

a few months back, we were lucky enough to have the super talented jamie street, the blogger behind a desert fete and one half of the wedding photography sensation rad + in love, come and take some gorgeous family photos.

her documentary style is not only gorgeous, but so thoughtful as well.  she seems to capture the perfect moments.

if you are in the southern california area, and want some family photos in time for the holidays...definitely check out her mini sessions coming up.

check out the natural setting...so sweet.  if you're lucky enough to be in san diego, don't miss out.  if you are considering traveling in the socal area, it's worth the drive.

work, stay at home...is it a choice?

well, yes, it *has* been a while hasn't it.  hello there.  remember way back {you probably don't god knows how long ago i posted} when i said i wanted to stay at home? i did, for a long time.  but i've had to go back to work.  i've been blessed with jobs that are flexible and allow me to have at home time with beatrice, but i'm officially a working mama now.  it wasn't really my choice, i went back to work for financial reasons.  we decided that i would go back to work and patty would stay home with beatrice.  on the other hand, i'm happy and grateful that patty is able to bond with beatrice and we are demonstrating a true parenting partnership.

to me,  feminism is about choice, but what if i don't chose it?  well, i suppose i did choose to go back to work and stay where we are versus moving somewhere that might have a lower cost of living...but as lesbian parents, we can't just pick up and move anywhere.  i want beatrice to grow up with diversity and acceptance.  i don't want her to be the only one she knows who has two moms or two dads.  so we stay in the metropolitan area and i go back to work.

my priorities will always be family first and i will have to find ways for my life to reflect that.  i'm still continually inspired by other mamas who make it work somehow...that ever elusive work/life balance. will the story change and evolve?  of course it will.  but i'm doing my best to be a present and supportive mama to beatrice, whatever that means today.