hubby wifey

speaking of semantics, now that we are {legally} married, patty & i are having a hard time deciding what to call each other.  she calls me "wife" most of the time, but what to call her?  she doesn't really like to be called "wife," but then again, she prefers "husband," but it doesn't quite fit.  the origin of the word "husband" is from the old english & old norse "husbonda," literally meaning "house-holder."  so we could redefine the word to suit our needs.  however, if i refer to her as my "husband" when she's not around, folks usually assume i'm married to a man, which i'm not.  we both don't really love "partner," either, as it seems so, well, business like.  what about spouse?  that is gender-neutral, but awkward.  do we come up with our own words?  change the definition of the existing words?

gertrude and alice called each other "hubby" and "wifey," which i quite like. 

with all the talk of the word "marriage," and whether or not we deserve it, what do we call each other now that we have it?

first image by cecil beaton from "gertrude stein in words and pictures."

second image by carl mydans.

our wedding & the upcoming election

with the upcoming election and the debate over prop 8, i've been thinking a lot about semantics.  we were planning our wedding months before the historic supreme court decision that essentially made it legal for us to get married.  what i am uncomfortable with is the term "gay marriage."  we simply got married.  we didn't get "civil unionized" or "domestic partnered," we got married and we happen to be gay.  sometimes i feel that the "gay" in front of the wedding implies that we are "separate but equal."  

i am guilty of the use myself--i've even "highlighted" gay wedding blogs versus just wedding blogs.  it's a bit of a catch-22, i want the inclusion and the acceptance alongside any other wedded couple, but i still feel the need to single us out as "gay."  part of me thinks it's about visibility--if we point and celebrate our "difference" {gay versus straight}, then the recognition and acceptance will follow.  but inclusion without distinction is what we are after.  isn't that what fighting prop 8 is all about?  the right to have a wedding.  plain and simple.  so i guess i'll vacillate between the two--i'm proud that we had a wedding and we happen to be gay, but still feel that our wedding is no different than any other--it was a celebration of love in front of our community.