hooray for prop 8 overturn!

over the past week or so, i haven't really posted much about the overturn of prop 8 in california...it goes without saying that it's pretty amazing. i'm happy that starting august 18 so many more couples can tie the knot...

but i just wanted to share a really cool give-away from pink cloud events. they are an eco event planning company in los angeles! eco- & gay- friendly...right up my alley!! go check it out & good luck!

happy weekend!

other folks weddings: {p. david & todd}

p. david and todd are two of my best friends in the world and they were the officiants at our wedding, so it's appropriate that i feature them as my first {male} same-sex wedding! they are a true inspiration, they have been together for eighteen years and they have the most beautiful, loving marriage i have ever had the privilege to witness. they have actually been married three times {!!}: once in 1999 at the beautiful union station in los angeles, which todd is writing about; again in san francisco at city hall when it became legal {i was their witness}; and for a third time this past june before prop 8 was overturned. the third time they were also married at union station, but it was a very quick ceremony outside, with drinks at the bar after! {third time a charm?!} i asked todd to write about their first {main} wedding ceremony at union station, so take it away, todd:

{a first date}

{first wedding: december 1999, union station, los angeles}

{second wedding: february 2004, city hall, san francisco}

{third wedding: june 2008, union station, los angeles}

We got married on the 8th anniversary of our first date on 12/21/99 which makes 2009 the year of our 10th wedding anniversary and 18th year together.

A lot like your wedding, we didn't have a big budget so all of our best people and a few other amazing friends worked with us transforming the Fred Harvey Room at Union Station into a winter wonderland. We worked all day, all get gussied up, got married and then we were all stuffing trash bags in our formal wear at midnight. A true community effort!

P. David is a producer so he approached it like a one day shoot which was very effective. We also learned half way through to stop using the word "wedding" to vendors. When we were just having a big party the prices dropped drastically every time. Especially where the cake was concerned.

Important was to have best friends near. Only regret was that we were missing a few key friends (wink). {note from christina: i was unable to make their first wedding in 1999, but i went to the other two!}

My favorite part of the day (night, actually) was right after we were pronounced husbands for life. Everything looked a little sharper and warmer. Things have never looked the same since.

We DIYed pretty much everything. We rented tables, piano, plates, glasses. We did all the decorations, music, food, drink and had Ebersole-Hughes mugs made from an office supply place online as the momento. We had lots of help from friends.

One piece of advice: Stay in the moment. Stay focused on your spouse so you remember everything.

same sex couple on us weekly contest

wow...i just found this on two chicks nest. very cool. go vote for them! and re-post. how great would it be if a same sex couple won?!?! from two chicks nest:

We, Matthew Ossenfort and Jeffrey Denke, have been selected as one of the top ten finalists in the US Weekly Dream Wedding contest. We are very excited!! Please help us make our dream wedding a reality!!

This is a great opportunity to further awareness and visibility regarding the need for marriage equality and help a happy gay couple's dream come true!

Voting begins TODAY and ends June 18th . Please take a moment to vote for us online at:

http://www.usmagazine.com/wedding/vote

Check the box next to our picture and then click “submit final vote” at the bottom.

As you know, presently, same sex marriage is not legally recognized in the state of New York. Casting a vote for Matthew and Jeffrey will not only help them achieve their dream wedding, but it will also further awareness regarding how important it is for every loving couple to have the right to get married. They will be featured in an article in this week’s US Magazine and with enough help and support from the community will have the opportunity to have their dream wedding!

“Our biggest obstacle was and remains the fact that it is not yet legal in New York for two people of the same gender to marry. This would in no way hinder us from going ahead with a ceremony. We are currently considering moving to CT where it would be legal. However, a lot of headway is being made to further same sex marriage in NY. In fact we are attending a Marriage Equality rally this weekend to help further the recognition regarding this need for legalization. “

Please pass this email along to help this couple make their dream a reality, and by spreading the word about the need for marriage equality.

Thank you all so much!

our psa...

we open the psa, but it's quick...don't blink!!  and our hands appear again at the end!  guess which ones are ours!  pass it along...

xox

another sad day for california...

some inspiring words from harvey milk on another sad day for california.  the california supreme court ruled to uphold prop 8 and uphold the marriages performed.  so i'm still married but no one else can get married...ridiculous.

we shot a psa...

we just finished shooting a psa for marriage equality.  very surreal experience being in front of the camera...i'm so used to being behind the camera.  the psa was a collaboration between f.a.i.r. (freedom action inclusion rights) and foundation, who produced the psa above.  this psa made it to tv, but we don't know if our psa will see any air time...most likely it will make the rounds on you tube and blogs....but i'll keep you posted when it comes out!

honeymoon in iowa, anyone?

hooray...they have started to issue marriage licenses in iowa today.  let's hope they don't get shut down, too.

{photo credit here}

my friend's ex-husband's plea to overturn prop 8...

my friend just sent this to me...it's a video she made with her ex-husband about prop 8.  pretty freakin' funny...never thought of that consequence of gays not being able to marry, did ya?

taxation without representation

i have to be honest, here.  i totally forgot today was tax day, i filed so long ago.  but today is the day us second class citizens really get hit with the "taxation without representation" thing.  i still pay the same amount of taxes as anyone else, but i don't have the full rights of a citizen.

it's up to us to fight for our rights & make a difference.  here's an example of how we can do it, one person at a time.  check out her story here.  way to go.  thanks for leading the way.

{photo from brenda's banter via journal of a ___}

more tears, but not tears of joy...

this is a heart-wrenching example of why separate is not equal.  the marriage equality fight is not just for the piece of paper and the wedding day, it is for the same 1138 federal rights that heterosexual couples receive when they are married, which are denied to same-sex couples.  this couple is fighting to stay together...the woman has been granted a stay until april 22.  {i'm a little behind in my google reader, so i just stumbled across this on two chicks nest.}

this issue is not about having the perfect wedding day, this affects people's lives and families in a major way.  n at two chicks nest  moved to canada for similar reasons.  separate is not equal.

update below:

{via two chicks nest}

tears...

this brought tears to my eyes...this is iowa state senate majority leader mike gronstal (d) in response to minority leader paul mckinley's (r) request to co-sponsor a bill to bring up a vote to amend the constitution to reverse same-sex marriage equality.  

this man is a true ally.

{via two chicks nest}

other folks weddings: {mary & claudine}

first of all, i assume you've seen the fabulous blog, 100 layer cake--"crafting your wedding, layer, by layer."  what more can you ask for?

today they featured the gorgeous wedding of mary & claudine.  mary & claudine's note about their sweet, simple, community-minded wedding brought me to tears.  it also makes me really happy when a same-sex wedding is featured on a wedding site...keeping the awareness alive, not just in the gay community, is essential.  a huge thank you to sites like 100 layer cake, rock'n'roll bride and a practical wedding for inclusion without distinction and for keeping the struggle for equal rights alive.  

now, enough chatter from me,  go immediately & see for yourself.

UPDATE:  100 layer cake posted mary + claudine's website to see more photos...

{photo laura morton via 100 layer cake}

supreme court live feed

the california supreme court will hear oral arguments tomorrow, thursday march 5 from 9am until noon, in three cases challenging the constitutionality of prop 8.  watch live here.

best acceptance speech of night

if you haven't seen it yet, it's worth a watch.  beautiful.  congrats to dustin lance black and sean penn.

"hubby/wifey"

this video was directed by my dear friend, todd hughes, and produced by his husband, p. david ebersole.  they officiated our wedding {which i still need to post--it was beautiful, funny and suited us perfectly!}.  this is a love letter from gertrude stein to alice b. toklas, that todd made come alive.  we did this several years ago {2001, i think} as part of the silver lake film festival, of which p. david and i have both been festival directors.  i was fortunate enough to work on the project doing the costumes.  

although we did this a while ago & it has made the film festival circuit, it just seemed especially timely now.  two women who lived together as "hubby & wifey" at a time when "gay marriage" was not even a thought!  we've come so far, yet gertrude and alice remind us how long the struggle has lasted.  

it was recently on exhibit as part of "prop 8: love not hate" in los angeles at the antebellum gallery.  

enjoy!

lost at sea

sorry for the lack of posts...since the prop 8 debate, i've been in a bit of limbo about what direction to take the blog.  i started blogging about the planning of my own wedding and the excitement just built as we won the right to get legally married.  then after our wedding, the election and the subsequent loss of rights became a focus.

then, the rallies, the community and the activism dominated the blog.  now, i'm not sure which way to go and feeling a little lost.  it's hard to post about weddings when the future of weddings is in question...i have to admit, it's tough blogging about weddings when i know most of my friends can't get married.  again, it must be said, i started this blog BEFORE we even had the right, but somehow it seemed so much more exciting then, i knew we didn't have the right to get married, but f*ck it, let's do this anyway...that was my attitude.  but i feel like it's a bit of innocence lost now.  i feel like i was on an emotional roller coaster:  we got the right and the excitement that came with it, then the strong feelings that came with losing that right and then my realization that there are so many people out in the world donating money and working hard to take my rights away...it all just gives me a bad taste in my mouth.  

i didn't want this to be a political blog and i wanted it to be fun and inspirational, but my bubble has burst...

so, sorry for the lack of posts.  i don't feel much inspiration right now.  i'm really just trying to figure out what direction to go in.

photo credit:  print from treatzone on etsy.

protest across the nation

los angeles, ca

houston, tx

washington, dc

chicago, il

chico, ca

unfortunately, i didn't take any photos this past saturday {of all days, i forgot my camera}.  there are amazing photos on the jointheimpact.com flickr photo stream here.  you can see photos from cities all across the nation.  if you have photos, you can post them on their stream as well.  it brought tears to my eyes looking at the numbers of protesters who came out in the name of equality.  in some cities there were only a handful, in others, tens of thousands.  the cities with a only a few people really brought tears to my eyes,  just thinking about the courage it took for those 7 or 10 people to stand out in front of their city hall for what they believe in.  

you can see the numbers yourself here, but here's a taste:

Anchorage, AK 100

Montgomery, AL 7  {the note for source says, "i counted."}

Chico, CA 700

Los Angeles, CA 12,000

Boulder, CO 850

Washington, DC 5,000

Ft Meyers, FL 1 

Orlando, FL 1,000

Honolulu, HI 350

Des Moines, IA 150

Chicago, IL 10,000

New Orleans, LA 500

Boston, MA 7,000

Baltimore, MD 450

Jackson, MS 130

Fargo, ND 250

Las Vegas, NV 1,500

New York, NY 10,000

Cleveland, OH 350

Eugene, OR 200

Corpus Christi, TX 18

Aberdeen, WA 14

thanks across the states & across the world {there are some international numbers up there} for standing with all of us for equality, justice and love.

photo credits here.

join me at city hall

there will be an international rally tomorrow at city halls across the country and beyond.  to find out more information, but sure to join here.  10:30am pacific time and 1:30pm eastern time.  there are still several cities that need organizing help, so be sure to check your city on the website.

love & equality for all. repeal prop 8.

hooray for connecticut!

i was driving last night from work on my way to a vigil/rally at the mormon temple when i heard that connecticut performed the first same sex wedding.  despite the legal battles we are contending with here in california, this is a joyous occasion.  

congratulations to the first couple to wed, jennifer vickery and peg oliveira.  i wish the couple much joy and happiness for years to come.

photo credit here.

other folks weddings: {shannon & monika}

what a beautiful day & a beautiful couple.  shannon & monika got married at san francisco's city hall on nov 4, 2008 (election day).  i love the setting & all the no on prop 8 support!  congratulations to the couple & best wishes for a happy married life.

more photos & credit here.