and the band played on for diane...

a good friend of patty's lost her battle with breast cancer this weekend.  she was only 31.  and while i didn't know diane very well, this loss seems especially profound...diane was such a sweet and caring soul.  i always looked forward to her posts on facebook, as inevitably there were pictures of her in all her vintage fashion glory.  she ran a magazine about vintage fashion called zelda and also threw fabulous vintage parties called wit's end.  

we saw her last in march, when we were in new york for the hit so hard premiere. she was in amazing spirits and health, and one would never know she was sick...i honestly thought she was in remission and had it "beat."  i'm so grateful we made time to see her while we were in new york as she was a good friend to patty...

my heart goes out to her boyfriend, friends and family...i especially can't imagine what her mother is going through now...experiencing the loss of one's child, whether six or thirty-one...i don't even have the words...

with all the breast cancer awareness and charities, it just seems simply mind boggling that we lose such young and vivacious souls to this disease...

so please send love & light diane's way and cherish your loved ones...

steady as she grows {one year}...a little late!

so this post is about a week late...beatrice turned one year on sept thirteenth...we had a picnic birthday party for her in the park at the silver lake rec center...lots of her little friends came and my aunt, who is a children's librarian read stories & lead us all in rhymes and songs.  we made cute bee puppets as party favors and i made her a bee birthday crown...it was a really sweet day!

beatrice is really coming into her own...she is walking, babbling and developing her own preferences. she's picked up a few signs: milk, dog, more and all done. she definitely has a sweet tooth like her mama...those crumbs you see on one of the pictures are from the banana muffin "cupcakes" i made for her party.  she still hasn't had any sugar other than fruit and molasses {iron rich!}...so those muffins were sweetened with molasses, applesauce and bananas, all of which she loves.  fruit is definitely her favorite...i'm working on making sure she gets the vitamins she needs from her food and making lots of things like small balls out of sweet potatoes with veggies and other goodies inside.  she loves to hold them and eat them herself.  she doesn't like me feeding her, but isn't quite able to feed herself with a spoon or fork, so the little balls she can hold work great.  {i'll post some recipes soon.}

she is fast...she loves running about and exploring!  she's also getting more cuddly and likes to sit in our laps for a book.  but not for long, she's off and running after a few pages usually!  she loves music and has started dancing!  she also loves going to drum and music circles...she loves shoes {yeah, like mother like daughter} and often insists on putting her shoes on when she's playing at home.  her laugh is contagious and she is quick to smile, flashing her two teeth on top and two teeth on the bottom.  she's very social and at play groups rarely looks for mama...she is off and exploring and socializing!

now...the big reason for the delay in posting:  i went back to work.  i while back, i posted about staying home with beatrice and my struggle with that.  again, i chose to stay home with beatrice, and to me feminism is all about choice.  unfortunately, going back to work wasn't entirely by choice...it was definitely out of financial necessity.  now, here's to say there aren't many positives to going back to work.  my main concern was beatrice, obviously.  since we try to adhere to the attachment parenting {ap}philosophy, i really thought it was important that her main caregiver was one of her parents.  i know that ap is possible with a working parent, but i felt very strongly about having a parent with her at least until she goes to pre-school.  so we decided to swap: i'm going back to work and patty is staying at home with beatrice.

this was a huge struggle for me.  i mean, i *live* for being a mom.  i love staying home with her, taking her to play dates, cooking for  her, washing her diapers, all of it.  so the thought of going back to work and leaving her for a significant part of the day was heart wrenching.  on top of it, i'm still breastfeeding. obviously, since she's one, it's not her main source of nutrition, but she loves it...and i do, too.  so i'm working out a schedule where i can work from home a few days a week, and on the days i go to the office, patty brings bea out during the day so we can have a mid-day nursing session.  thankfully where a work is a beautiful ranch in the santa monica mountains {even though it's a long drive}, it's a nice place for beatrice to play and frolic among the wildlife...

here's the one thing that made this decision easier: patty wanted to stay home with beatrice and have a chance to bond with her.  only good things can come from that!  she can go to all the parenting classes that i got to go to, she can meet beatrice's play mates, she can learn to wear beatrice on her back and take her on walks, she can bond with beatrice and she can see what being a stay-at-home mom is all about.  a friend said to me: "you are demonstrating to beatrice that your relationship is a true partnership and cooperative family."  i love that idea that because we are both primary care-givers, beatrice will understand the idea of cooperation and partnership.

so...it's still hard...only been a week...and there are definitely going to be hiccups!  but just these few days have taught me to focus on the positive and let go and let things happen the way they are meant to happen...beatrice will be fine...she'll be better than fine, in fact, because she is loved.  we are providing her with consistent and loving care and maximizing the her bond with both her parents.

happy three year wedding anniversary...

it's today...and yes, i'm posting at 9:30pm at night, but it's the first time i've been able to sit at the computer for a while!

i can't believe we got married three years ago!  it seems like a lifetime ago {in a good way}!  whether legal or not, i want beatrice to know that her parents are married, that they love and respect each other...and are committed to each other in sickness and health...we take care of ourselves and each other so we can better take care of her...

happy anniversary, patty...here's to many more...

music mondays {rock and roll camp for girls part ii}

this is so cute & amazing!  i laughed and ok, i got a little teary...

{credit here}

oh the people you'll meet...

this week is world breastfeeding week....so why do i have a picture of beatrice and patty with yo gabba gabba you might ask?  well, rather than post about the benefits of breastfeeding and how much it has bonded me with beatrice, i'm going to take a lighter approach...since there are numerous beautiful posts about breastfeeding {i'll share some links at the end}, i thought i'd relay my favorite funny breastfeeding story...

a few months back, we volunteered at the pablove valentines day event for kids.  this organization is near and dear to our hearts, so we really wanted to participate.  since beatrice was only five months old, i wore her in my moby wrap and was able to work the silent auction.  at the time, i hadn't quite mastered feeding her while carrying her, so when i needed to breastfeed, i would just pull up a chair or sit on the floor, but it wasn't really comfortable.  our friend jeff, the president and founder of pablove said: "this is a kid's event!  we should have a breastfeeding area for mamas...next time, we'll set up an area with comfy couches...but in the meantime, would you like to sit in the dressing room on the couch?"  he wasn't trying to "hide" a nursing mother...he was just trying to make me more comfortable...

so back to the dressing room i went...and guess who was getting dressed?!? the characters from yo gabba gabba! now, beatrice doesn't even watch tv, but patty & i are huge fans {well, especially patty!}...when we took care of our friend jorjee's daughter, maude, she really got us hooked!  so, when beatrice does finally watch some tv, i'm sure it will be yo gabba gabba!

now i'm not going to tell you what went on in that dressing room, as i'm sure that would violate some trade secrets!  let's just say it was fun, fun, fun!  but the point i'm really trying to make here is...breastfeeding can take you places, open doors, provide a great topic of conversation, etc...

one more fun reason to breastfeed your baby:  you never know where it will take you!

here are some great links and organizations that promote breastfeeding:

• la leche league is a great resource for breastfeeding moms...look up a local chapter for great support meetings!
• live in the los angeles area?  the pump station has great support groups and classes! the support classes were a lifesaver for me.  they really helped us get our breastfeeding off to a great start.
• great online community of breastfeeding mamas, check out the leaky boob and like them on facebook.
• best for babes provides valuable resources and studies about breastfeeding benefits for mama and baby.
• unfortunately mothering magazine is no more, but their website and forums are a great place for information and support.

do you have a breastfeeding story or resource to share?

{photo by jennifer hamilton}

music mondays {rock and roll camp for girls}

this past week, patty has been teaching drums to girls at the rock & roll camp for girls...she is so passionate about this.  it's an amazing program that teaches girls about being in a band...everything from how to play their instrument to how to silk screen their band t-shirts.  music being a fairly male dominated field, i think this is so inspiring!  girls are so often taught be quiet and polite, and rocking out is the opposite!!  girls also often lack the self-esteem necessary to really put themselves out there...and i love what the rock camp is doing...really giving girls the tools necessary and the confidence to play and perform music.  their tagline is "empowering girls through music education."

adult women instructors teach the girls for one week, and then at the end of the week they have a showcase so all the bands can perform.  this year, patty had her friend linda perry come down to perform and give a song writing workshop...it was really powerful...the girls were blown away!

i didn't get to see the showcase, unfortunately {sleeping baby & rock show don't go so well together!}, but i was there when the show ended and got to see the beaming parents and thrilled kids exit the venue...there were so many smiles and proud moments and kid after kid with their moms came up to patty & the other instructors and told them what an amazing opportunity the camp was for them...

what an fantastic program to support the esteem-building and empowerment of young women!  they also offer adult ladies camps if you are in the los angeles area that help fund scholarships for girls to go to camp.  be sure to like them on facebook and follow them on twitter to find out when the next camp is and how you can help!

{photo credit here}

music mondays...well sort of...

hmmm...will bea follow in patty's footsteps??  this was taken a few weekends ago at a friend's two year birthday party...

music mondays {sia sings hole}

ok...so this is a terrible video and the guy singing along is kind of funny, but i had to post a video from the LA premiere of our movie, hit so hard.  after the screening, some amazing & talented friends performed with patty...this is a video of sia covering miss world!  patty & eric are playing with her...linda perry also covered violet!

it was a really fun night and i managed to go, wearing a sleeping beatrice with noise reduction headphones!  i stressed out for weeks about whether i should go or not...and honestly didn't decide for sure that i was going until 15 minutes before the event...beatrice never took the bottle, so i haven't really been away from her for very long.  which, honestly has really not been a problem.  i'm perfectly happy staying at home with her!  we have lots of fun outings during the day, so we're both pretty tired at night.  so i never felt like i was "missing out" on anything...until this event.  since it was the LA premiere of the movie, i really wanted to try to attend...hometown screening an all!  and we also announced that the film was picked up for distribution...and on top of all that, the amazing performance.  so i really felt like i'd like to attend.  

i was really concerned that i was "being a bad mom" by keeping beatrice out so late...i posted on a few of my favorite attachment parenting mom groups and a few of them suggested to just bring her...wear her so i can nurse her to sleep...i also thought about having her sleep in the car with a sitter so i could just run out and nurse her if she woke up, but honestly that seemed crazy to me...i figured bea would much rather just be with me, nursing or asleep in the ergo...

but really it couldn't have worked out better.  she ended up napping from 6-8pm, we left for the movie around 8:30pm and then hung out in patty's dressing room with toys...a few friends who also have kids were there visiting with us.  then she fell asleep in the ergo {while i was nursing her} at about 9:30pm...i then put on her headphones and watched the performance from the side stage backstage.  usually it's not as loud backstage as the speakers are facing the crowd.  she slept through the whole thing!  didn't even flinch...

this was a pretty big event, it takes *a lot* to get me out, so i don't think we'll try it again anytime soon...um, let's just say never...but i'm glad i went...and i guess when she's older i can tell her that she was there!  

wanna wear the pants?

check out my guest post at east side bride.

{photo credit: chris strother}

steady as she grows {six months! & expert traveler}

this past month we've spent traveling with the documentary about patty called hit so hard. the documentary was made by our friends at the ebersole hughes company. it premiered at south by southwest{sxsw} in austin, texas, then it had it's new york premiere at new directors/new films. since the topic is pretty close to home {my spouse!}, my role was arranging interviews, getting music clearance and fundraising {we raised over $22,000 in 30 days on kickstarter! here's to the power of crowd funding & social media, but that's another post}...

so, we decided to head to austin & new york since it was the first time the movie was showing...needless to say, i was a little nervous about traveling so much with baby beatrice. but she did really great. many folks told me to go for it...since it's so much easier to travel with the little ones when they are "portable"!

i'm so glad we did! we had a really great time and beatrice did great. it was wild going from the staggering heat of austin to the frigid cold of new york, but beatrice was a trooper. since she won't take the bottle, she had to stick with me, so i wore her to the screenings. she slept through the first one in austin...then the next one in austin and the two in new york, we just did the intros and spread out a blanket in the movie lobby and played with her toys during the movie. the time change in new york worked in our favor...the first screening was at 6pm, so it was really only 3pm california time, so bea was still in great spirits...

in new york, there was a pretty big press line, and since beatrice was awake, she was with me...she's already a star! here she is on stage with us during the q&a:

so, now we're home & we don't plan on traveling again for a while...the film is going to other fests {i'll keep you posted or for up-to-the-minute updates, you can follow the film on twitter or like it on facebook}, but bea and i are going to stay home for a while and work on some other projects! more to come...

{photo credits here}

steady as she grows {almost six months!}

ok, i'm not sure how some of you mommy bloggers do it...i haven't been able to get a post up in weeks! i'm also really anal about not letting the baby see any screens, including the computer, which makes typing and blogging around baby really hard...

but i've also been a bit pre-occupied with some other news...we just found out that the documentary about patty called HIT SO HARD, will be at two film festivals this month! so we'll be traveling to austin and new york city very soon.

the world premiere will be at sxsw, we have two screenings, one on the 15th and one on the 18th. if you're at sxsw, be sure to come to a screening!

and the new york premiere will be at new directors/new films. march 28th at moma and march 30 at lincoln center...ticket info here.

so beatrice is going to be quite the little traveler! she's so active now, rolling over, almost sitting up all by herself, and pushing up on all fours...she can scoot herself backwards now...she'll be crawling any minute. lord help me...

{photo credits: planet swan}

music mondays {psychic friend}

ok...shameless promotion. patty has several projects in the works and this is one of them. psychic friend. she's in the band with will schwartz & bo boddie...

my favorite song is 'once a servant.' enjoy!

go now & like them on facebook, follow them on twitter & look for them coming to a city near you...

{artwork by lena wolff}

patty's love letter to fannie

european sojourn...scotland

after a lovely, rainy week in ireland, we hopped a quick flight to glasgow, scotland, where my friend lesley was waiting to meet us. we made a stop at her mother's house, which was a lovely bed and breakfast, then drove the hour to dumfries where lesley lives. it wouldn't be a trip to scotland if it weren't raining, and sure enough, it *poured* the 2 days we were there. no matter, it was lovely to visit with lesley and her gorgeous home.

there are two houses on lesley's property, which consist of an old converted schoolhouse and the mistress's house. this one is the school mistress's house. it is available for holiday rental here. it would be a great place to spend a holiday. it was rented out already when we were there, so we stayed in a guest room in their main house.

this is the converted schoolhouse, where lesley and her family live. we stayed here in a sweet guest room.

her beautiful garden. i love the prehistoric plants.

and of course, the ducks!

next stop: london, england...

european sojourn...ireland

the first stop we made along our european journey was ireland. we went to clifden, county galway, on the west coast. it was gorgeous. it rained most of our trip...but due to the rain, the flowers were in full bloom. we stayed in ireland for a week touring the countryside and visiting with patty's family.

hydrangeas were everywhere...one of my favorites.

patty feeling naval on the coast...

connemara, the region where clifden is located is known for their ponies. they were everywhere...

this is the old coast guard station, patty's cousin has refurbished it and it is a self-catering accommodation now. we're staying here next time...look at the views!!

the clifden castle...ruins now, but patty's ancestors were tenants so her cousins own some of the land around it...

more ponies near the castle...

patty's cousin's house...where we stayed...

the road to patty's cousin's house...i would walk it to the bay, sometimes running into girls and their horses...but never any cars...

a rainy day...we drove through the country with patty's cousin...this area was called dog's bay.

lovely houses in dog's bay...

patty's cousin has a boat like this one...it's so beautiful...the weather was too rough to go out on the water...i was really disappointed!

dog friends where ever we go...

views from my walk on the sunny days...this is along the sky road, the main road in clifden...breathtaking views...

view of the castle and sheep tenants now from the sky road.

view of the castle from our walk...

the fuschia were everywhere growing wild!

next stop: dumfries, scotland...

still on european vacation...

sorry for the abrupt lack of posts...organizing for the trip got a bit crazy. we're still away and having an amazing time {despite the fact that patty got a cold in scotland & london!}. here's a sneak peak of our travels and i promise to post photos and a full report when i'm back!

missing you all out there in the blogosphere! xox

european vacation...dumfries, scotland

at the end of our ireland trip, we are spending one night in dublin, then patty's mom flies home to los angeles. we catch a flight to scotland and will be staying two nights in dumfries. i'm really excited to see this part of scotland...we're stopping in dumfries to stay with my friend lesley, who i stayed with for a while when i lived in seattle. she's from scotland and now is married with a child...she and her family live in an old school house. how charming. i haven't seen her since 1999! i'm so excited...

next stop: london...

{photo credits: photo 1; photo 2; photo 3}

european vacation...first destination: clifden, ireland

today is seven days and counting until we leave for our european vacation. our first stop will be clifden, ireland. why clifden? well, patty's grandma oona is from this town and patty's mom has always wanted to visit. so, we're taking patty's mom! we'll be in clifden for a week and we don't have anything planned. since we are with her mom, i figured we'd stay in one place and take little day trips if we want to. or, just walk around the cute town.

we're staying in a really sweet bed and breakfast...can't wait!

tomorrow, destination number two: dumfries, scotland

{photo credits: photo 1; photo 2; photo 3; photo 4}