hooray for prop 8 overturn!

over the past week or so, i haven't really posted much about the overturn of prop 8 in california...it goes without saying that it's pretty amazing. i'm happy that starting august 18 so many more couples can tie the knot...

but i just wanted to share a really cool give-away from pink cloud events. they are an eco event planning company in los angeles! eco- & gay- friendly...right up my alley!! go check it out & good luck!

happy weekend!

sign the petition {harvey milk day}

more info here.  sign the petition here.

we shot a psa...

we just finished shooting a psa for marriage equality.  very surreal experience being in front of the camera...i'm so used to being behind the camera.  the psa was a collaboration between f.a.i.r. (freedom action inclusion rights) and foundation, who produced the psa above.  this psa made it to tv, but we don't know if our psa will see any air time...most likely it will make the rounds on you tube and blogs....but i'll keep you posted when it comes out!

other folks weddings: {aeleise and joy}

over at so you're engayged, they have a great real weddings feature, which of course thrills me.  i love seeing those "real" same sex weddings out there...see aeleise's description of the beautiful and meaningful day here.

three adjectives she used to describe the day:  surreal, blessed, ordained.  what a lovely description for a really lovely couple...more photos here.

{photos by kelsie kliner via so you're engayged}

more tears, but not tears of joy...

this is a heart-wrenching example of why separate is not equal.  the marriage equality fight is not just for the piece of paper and the wedding day, it is for the same 1138 federal rights that heterosexual couples receive when they are married, which are denied to same-sex couples.  this couple is fighting to stay together...the woman has been granted a stay until april 22.  {i'm a little behind in my google reader, so i just stumbled across this on two chicks nest.}

this issue is not about having the perfect wedding day, this affects people's lives and families in a major way.  n at two chicks nest  moved to canada for similar reasons.  separate is not equal.

update below:

{via two chicks nest}

tears...

this brought tears to my eyes...this is iowa state senate majority leader mike gronstal (d) in response to minority leader paul mckinley's (r) request to co-sponsor a bill to bring up a vote to amend the constitution to reverse same-sex marriage equality.  

this man is a true ally.

{via two chicks nest}

other folks weddings: {stori & tausha}

as always, i'm so thrilled to find same-sex wedding postings on the wedding blog-o-sphere.  leave it to offbeat bride to feature another sweet wedding...be sure to check out their flickr site, where they describe all of the cool details and diy aspects about their wedding & all of the community involvement {um, they have friends sing 'secret songs' that they chose for each other.}...their couples shots are amazing...

{photo credit: flickr via offbeat bride}

so you're enGAYged launch

today the new site so you're enGAYged launches.  living in liberal los angeles {and not using many vendors to begin with}, i didn't run across much of the bias, ignorance and discrimination when planning our wedding as many others did.  a fellow bride and blogger {and photographer} has taken the matter into her own hands and created an online resource for the lgbt community {and their allies!} to find friendly, supportive vendors.  from kelly, the creator:

So You’re EnGAYged seeks to match same-sex and allied couples with wedding vendors who actively support LGBT rights and freedoms, including, but not limited to, same-sex marriage. By highlighting voices from within the LGBT community, So You’re EnGAYged further works to build a community that can dispense advice, recommendations, and support to couples in the wedding-planning process. As the wedding industry has grown larger and more ubiquitous, we hope to serve as a reference for those who seek vendors whose business practices align with deeply held values.

there are several guest bloggers in addition to kelly's own ideas and lists of vendors.  be sure to pay them a visit when planning your wedding of any stripe!

{photo credit: soinviting via so you're engaged}

other folks weddings: {mary & claudine}

first of all, i assume you've seen the fabulous blog, 100 layer cake--"crafting your wedding, layer, by layer."  what more can you ask for?

today they featured the gorgeous wedding of mary & claudine.  mary & claudine's note about their sweet, simple, community-minded wedding brought me to tears.  it also makes me really happy when a same-sex wedding is featured on a wedding site...keeping the awareness alive, not just in the gay community, is essential.  a huge thank you to sites like 100 layer cake, rock'n'roll bride and a practical wedding for inclusion without distinction and for keeping the struggle for equal rights alive.  

now, enough chatter from me,  go immediately & see for yourself.

UPDATE:  100 layer cake posted mary + claudine's website to see more photos...

{photo laura morton via 100 layer cake}

best acceptance speech of night

if you haven't seen it yet, it's worth a watch.  beautiful.  congrats to dustin lance black and sean penn.

protest across the nation

los angeles, ca

houston, tx

washington, dc

chicago, il

chico, ca

unfortunately, i didn't take any photos this past saturday {of all days, i forgot my camera}.  there are amazing photos on the jointheimpact.com flickr photo stream here.  you can see photos from cities all across the nation.  if you have photos, you can post them on their stream as well.  it brought tears to my eyes looking at the numbers of protesters who came out in the name of equality.  in some cities there were only a handful, in others, tens of thousands.  the cities with a only a few people really brought tears to my eyes,  just thinking about the courage it took for those 7 or 10 people to stand out in front of their city hall for what they believe in.  

you can see the numbers yourself here, but here's a taste:

Anchorage, AK 100

Montgomery, AL 7  {the note for source says, "i counted."}

Chico, CA 700

Los Angeles, CA 12,000

Boulder, CO 850

Washington, DC 5,000

Ft Meyers, FL 1 

Orlando, FL 1,000

Honolulu, HI 350

Des Moines, IA 150

Chicago, IL 10,000

New Orleans, LA 500

Boston, MA 7,000

Baltimore, MD 450

Jackson, MS 130

Fargo, ND 250

Las Vegas, NV 1,500

New York, NY 10,000

Cleveland, OH 350

Eugene, OR 200

Corpus Christi, TX 18

Aberdeen, WA 14

thanks across the states & across the world {there are some international numbers up there} for standing with all of us for equality, justice and love.

photo credits here.

join me at city hall

there will be an international rally tomorrow at city halls across the country and beyond.  to find out more information, but sure to join here.  10:30am pacific time and 1:30pm eastern time.  there are still several cities that need organizing help, so be sure to check your city on the website.

love & equality for all. repeal prop 8.

thank you prop 8 supporters

this past weekend, i visited with one of my bridesmaids in northern california.  i drove up with another friend & we met 2 other friends from LA while we were there.  of course, we had many hours of thought-provoking discussions about prop 8, what it meant, what we could have done differently and what we need to do next.

i'm not going to play the blame game here or ponder how we could have run the campaign differently.  rather, i'm going to thank the prop 8 supporters--yes, THANK them.  had it not been for their money and enormous efforts, our civil rights & gay rights may not have been pushed into the national spotlight.  in fact, because of the passage of prop 8, the world is now watching.  i've had notes of support from scotland, england and ireland.  this is not going away.  there's a silver lining here.  like richard bach said:  "every problem has a gift for you in it's hands."  had there been no prop 8, we would have gotten married quietly and stayed under the radar.  now it's our responsibility to fight for the rights of gays and lesbians not only in  california--but across the country.  so thank you prop 8 supporters for putting our rights on the national agenda.  

of course i'm disappointed that it passed.  but it's time to make lemonade and count our blessings.  our community will respond with petitions, actions, protests, inspiration & wisdom.  and now the world is watching.

more photos and credit here.

wedding details: {vows}

i need a break from the political posts & i thought what a better time to focus on my vows?  at first, i wasn't going to post my vows, i felt like they were too personal to post.  but after the activities of the last month and especially the last week, i thought why not share my love & commitment to patty with you...it is what is really important.  not the piece of paper from the state.  regardless of what happens in the state and political sphere, we will always have our vows.

here are mine to patty.  i based them on vows that i found on snippet & ink.   i loved the format and some of the wording, but i re-wrote some & tweaked some others.

i promise to love you unconditionally, 

with passion & enthusiasm.

i promise my loyalty and that i will stand by your side

through hard times as well as the good.

i promise to respect you as the guardian of your own individuality

and celebrate and accept you as you are.

i promise to be true to myself so that i may share my life with you.

i promise to surrender my will

to the care of the higher power that brought us together.

i promise to be patient with our differences

and to remember that they imbue our relationship 

with resilience, strength and humor.

i promise to recognize my humility 

and continue to share the joy of laughter with you.

i promise to keep our relationship fresh and lively

and to always remember that you are my lover 

and my beloved.

i promise to do what i can to stay healthy and fit

in body and mind so that i may age gracefully

by your side.

i promise to help create a home that is welcoming,

inclusive, spirited and inspiring.

i promise to look within and recognize our abundance

and live my love with you with honesty, love, compassion, acceptance and gratitude.

i promise to cherish your family as my own.

i promise to love you all the days of my life 

and to be with you in spirit even after i die.

thank you from the bottom of my heart

thank you for all your notes, wishes, support, love, posts, comments, etc.  although no on prop 8 has conceded we will not give up.  i attended the rally last night in west hollywood & i literally felt the support & love.  yes, this is a fight, but a fight for love & equality.

what more can you do?  well, keep reading the blogs & stay connected, as two chicks nest so eloquently suggested.

most of all, i just wanted to say thank you.  i have so much to be grateful for:  an amazing wife, fabulous friends, supportive family, my health, my dogs, a roof over my head, a supportive blogging and online community, i live in a beautiful country where homosexuality is legal & there is peace on our shores, obama was elected president...the list goes on & on.  with that in mind, i am truly happy, no matter what.  it's far from over, but i am fighting with love in my heart & from a place of gratitude.  thank you.

sweet gratitude card from mnotes on etsy.

time to challenge the legality of prop 8

so a petition against prop 8 has been officially filed.  check out pam's house blend for details. 

am i a second class citizen? the results don't look good.

i'm not quite sure what to write today.  so i'll keep it short.  i'm feeling so much more disappointment, sadness and hatred (towards me) that i expected i would.  when we planned to get married, it was before the june supreme court decision...so we didn't even expect to have the "right" to marry.  but to have it for 5 short, sweet months & then have it ripped away is incredibly jarring.  i'm trying to "keep the faith" as geoff kors urged folks to do at the SF "victory" rally last night, but i'll admit, it's hard.  i'm feeling really dejected.  

i feel like a "debbie downer," not able to participate in the celebration.  when obama says, "america is a place where all things are possible," it's hard to feel included.  

i'm sure tomorrow i'll be feeling much more positive & ready to fight for the rights of all citizens, but right now i'll take my "personal day."

patty & i are still MARRIED and our love is stronger than ever...no one can take that away.  

i'll just stick to my mantra today:  steady happy, steady happy, steady happy...

geoff kors posted election results here

marriage rights for all!

just got back from volunteering for the NO ON PROP 8 campaign at the polls all morning!!  had about 90 % NO & 10% yes at the poll i worked in the la cienega area!  let's hope we trend that way at all the california polls!  

all you need is love.  marriage rights for everyone.  NO ON PROP 8.

separate is not equal

my health benefits are contingent on how many hours i work during a given period.  this past year, i didn't work enough hours, so i lost my benefits for a few months.  i just recently got them back, so i received the welcome packet in the mail.  the last time i got the welcome packet, patty & i were merely domestic partners.  i tried to add her to my health care benefits.  here's what we had to provide:

-  our certificate of domestic partnership

-  proof that we have a shared bank account for at least one year

-  proof that we share some sort of living arrangement (a lease or mortgage that is signed by BOTH of us)

-  an affidavit that all the above is true that has been notarized

when i tried to add her, we didn't have the joint lease (patty was on it but i wasn't) so i couldn't add her to my health care.  this time, now that we are MARRIED, here's what i had to provide:

-  a marriage license

that's it.  nothing else.  just one copy.  we didn't have to prove anything.  so i made the copy & sent it off in the mail.  done.

please don't tell me that domestic partners and marriage are the same.

image from awesome etsy seller LemonDrops2.