other folks weddings: {malia & michelle}

i'm thrilled to feature this gorgeous wedding that took place last year on september 25...a lovely desert wedding at the ever so fabulous ace hotel in palm springs.  disclaimer:  i've known malia {in suit} since the early 1990's and i'm over the moon that she found michelle, the girl for her.  this relaxed, joyous wedding is full of love and fun... and i adore michelle's vintage style and yes, malia is woman who wears men's clothes...and wears them well! so get yourself a tasty beverage that reminds you of the relaxed summer vibe that this wedding emits, think sunny california desert thoughts and toast to malia and michelle!

how long were you together before you got married?

we have known each since the mid 90s but were a couple for about two years before we got married.

did you diy anything?  what did you leave to vendors?

we did the save the dates ourselves...our invitations were done custom by kimberly austin at austinpress in san francisco.  our beautiful flowers and the decor were done by luna at arrangements design in palm springs.  both ladies were a complete treat to work with and really understood what we wanted!

tell me about the day{s}.

we got married on sept 25 2011 at the ace hotel in palm springs...we love going there year round so we thought it would be perfect to have the wedding there...lots of happy times there for us...we had about 120 friends and family from all parts of the world join...we pretty much took over the hotel for the week! it felt really special to see all our loved ones in one giant magical place. the day of the wedding was filled with swimming, eating, the ceremony, and lots of dancing and more swimming! and a ton of love!!!

how did you approach the planning process?

we have a wonderful friend heather who can arrange parties with her eyes closed!so thankfully she helped us! also taneka at the ace hotel helped with arranging everything dealing with the space and vendors and the delicious food!!! 

what was important?

music!!! luckily the wonderful zach cowie lent us his talent for the night! no one wanted to stop dancing! it was awesome because the space had a private pool so people could dance and jump in the pool too.  zach really took time out of his crazy music world life to understand what we wanted to dance to and it turned out perfect!

what was your favorite part of the day?
the unreal amount of love that everyone brought...sounds cheesy but it was really so sweet...

one piece of advice?

just really enjoy each part of the planning and relax on the day of...it goes by really quick!

{photographer: eyla cuenca}

{dj: zach cowie}

{flowers & decor: luna at arrangements design}

sneak peak: other folks weddings {malia & michelle}

i know it's been a while, but i just got the pics and the low-down on a super lovely, loving and amazing wedding that took place at the palm springs ace hotel last september...can't wait to share it with you all...

{photo credit: eyla cuenca}

what does a crunchy mama mean?

i'll post a holiday round up post soon...beatrice *loved* her kitchen...it was a real hit!  best $85 i've spent in a while...

lately i've been obsessing over babywearing... i began wearing beatrice very early on and i have a few different carriers, but lately i've been wanting more.  i've been spending time on various babywearing boards and have realized that it's a vast and diverse community.  and it's a community...there are so many women {and some men} out there, but it's still not very mainstream.  unfortunately, the norm is still those very uncomfortable baby bjorns...

and with every community, there is definitely diversity...but many babywearing mamas fall into the crunchy mama realm: natural birth, cloth diapering, babywearing, AP, non-vaxing, co-sleeping, eating organic, respecting the child, gentle parenting, etc.  i consider myself very crunchy, i definitely do all of the above, except the non-vaxing {my decision to vax is another, long post...}.  i'm pretty on the hippie side and i also fall on the liberal side.  my experience of "hippie" coming from the san francisco bay area {haight ashbury, berkeley, etc} has been that hippie or crunchy equals liberal.  well not so much in the mama-hood world...

i'm finding that many of the mamas on the boards are pretty conservative socially and quite religious.  there is definitely a faction of mormon mamas who are very crunchy.  and i have to admit: this is a bit unsettling for me sometimes...it definitely puts me on guard a little bit when i'm posting or on the forums.  i find myself using the partner word but avoiding the she pronoun for fear of being judged.

however, i know that by withholding information and assuming that i will be judged, that i'm the one doing the judging...i'm the one judging them and assuming that their views will not be accepting of me.  what would that say to my daughter?  don't be yourself, for fear of being judged?  that's certainly not a message i want to send her.  so in order to practice my philosophy of leading by example, i'm working on acceptance on my part...

{photo of me wearing bea at an outfest fundraising event}

scary santa...

this year, patty really wanted to get a picture of beatrice with santa claus.  saturday at the farmers market, a preschool that is on our list of favorites called cottage enrichment, was doing a fundraiser by taking santa pictures.  win-win!  we get to donate to a great preschool, support our community and avoid the mall!  hooray....well, not so much.  beatrice was not having it.  since we hang out at the farmers market, we let her watch a few other kids get their picture taken, so she could see what it was all about...she just watched, wide-eyed as kids eagerly bounded up to santa to tell him their wishes.  there was a set of sisters, maybe five and three, and the three year old was a little scared.  her big sister held her hand and the photographer and her parents made her laugh.  crisis averted...no tears...

when it was our turn, we went up to santa and beatrice held on to me for dear life, so we decided to sit with her to see if she was ok with it.  before we even sat down, the photographers played with her for a little bit and got a few smiles out of her...so we thought let's try it!  well, sure enough, she started crying...lots of folks were trying to make her smile, including us {hence the silly, happy faces we are making...}.  but in the end, it was just too much.

usually, beatrice isn't afraid of anything.  in fact, she really doesn't have "stranger danger," and it almost concerns me, as i would like for her to have a healthy weariness of strangers.  she's also been in the presence of yo gabba gabba characters twice and it didn't faze her at all...so we were a little surprised that santa was what scared her...

and although this is one of those holiday traditions we hope our kids enjoy, i want to respect beatrice and not force things on her.  she's her own person and i respect her cues.  did i cross the line with the santa pictures?  did i ignore her cues and disrespect her by trying to get the picture for us and the grandparents?  maybe, yes...

patty has been taking beatrice to a RIE playgroup, and while i don't subscribe to every tenant of that philosophy, i love their emphasis on respecting the child and having patience with them and respecting their learning path. so while we got the picture, maybe this isn't one of my shining parenting moments...and that's ok. live and learn...i know i'm bound to make many mistakes...

but this has definitely got me thinking about the whole notion of santa.  i feel very strongly about not lying to beatrice, but i also really want her to cultivate a sense of wonder, imagination and magic.  and these holiday traditions can do that...obviously, beatrice is too young now to understand the magic of santa... but stories like santa and other fairy tales allow for that.  but if santa is not something she buys into, i want to respect that and allow her to find magic in her own way.

so...will our family celebrate santa?  we'll see, only time will tell...but, honestly, i would really love to avoid the dark side that santa inspires: the consumerism, the frantic feelings and the "gimme" attitude...in fact, usually over the holidays i tell family and friends to donate to my favorite charity rather than buying me a gift...and every year, we usually donate toys to children's hospital and try to give back in other ways, like making lunches for the homeless on christmas day.  does it have to be either/or?  no, i think we can have fun with santa but also cultivate a sense of helping and giving back, too...

maybe we'll create our own holiday family tradition that is fun and magical and inspires beatrice to donate her time to others and be grateful for what she has...something involving fairies?!

we got the {off}beat...

clearly, beatrice will have music in her life and will be able to keep a beat...but is her family {offbeat} because she has two moms? of course it is...but of course it is perfectly normal too.  we are the new normal...

yes, admittedly, beatrice's beginnings are a little different {offbeat?} than most...and i'm thrilled to have a guest post over at offbeat mama today, where you can read all about it.  thank goodness for offbeat mama, where stories like ours can be heard!  hurrah!

i love craigslist...

i have literally furnished our entire home with craigslist or flea market finds...so i was so excited to find a used wood kitchen for beatrice on craigslist!  it's a $200 kitchen new, but i snagged it from a lovely hippie family in the canyon for only $85...

we are not going crazy with christmas gifts for bea...first of all, she's too young to really get into the whole thing and secondly, and more importantly, i really don't want to make christmas and the holidays so consumer and gift focused for her.  so we are going to get her one nice present for "under the tree" and since it's used, it's even better!  pre-loved from a sweet hippie family...so it's got good vibes to boot!

recipe {baby nuggets}

beatrice loves feeding herself.  she never really took to purees, even early on.  so i started out with baby led weaning...giving her chunks of food that she can handle and letting her eat it with her hands.  that said, she didn't really "get into solids" until about 10 months or so...and it wasn't really until her first birthday that the solid food eating really took off...

so most food i feed her is finger food, or something that she can pick up.  lots of pasta, steamed veggies, etc.  however, her favorite food is what we call "baby nuggets."  basically, i find any good veggie patty recipe and instead of making patties, i roll into small little balls that are perfect for her small grip...she LOVES them.  {mamas and papas love them too, so it's a nice food for everyone on the go!}

this is her favorite recipe, by far, adapted from my favorite non-dairy, calcium rich collection of recipes called calci-yum!

{sweet potato mini nuggets}

preheat oven to 350 degrees

makes about 50 nuggets

cookie sheet, lightly oiled

{i bake half the dough and freeze the other half for later}

1/2 cup cooked chickpeas, rinsed and drained

4 medium sweet potatoes

1/2 tbsp olive oil

1 onion, finely chopped

2 cups finely chopped chinese lettuce {i use bok choy, spinach or kale as a substitute if i can't find chinese lettuce}

1 red bell pepper, seeded and finely chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced {optional, depending on baby's tolerance, but bea loves it}

2 tsp salt

1/4 dried oregano

2 cups rolled oats

1/2 cup wheat germ

1/3 cup whole wheat flour {i also use oat flour instead sometimes}

3/4 cup bread crumbs {sometimes i mix in flax or dehydrated kale too}

1.  in a bowl using potato masher or food processor, mash chickpeas to a rough paste.  set aside.

2.  pierce sweet potatoes with a fork; wrap in foil and bake in preheated oven for 1-1/2 hours or until soft.  remove skin and mash together with cooked chickpeas.

3.  in a non-stick skillet with lid, heat oil over medium.  add onion and chinese lettuce {or kale or spinach, whatever you have on hand!}; saute for 3 minutes.  add pepper, garlic, salt and oregano.  cover and cook until vegetables are soft, about 3 minutes.  transfer to sweet potato/chickpea mixture, along with rolled oats, wheat germ and flour.  mix until well combined.  let cool.

4.  with slightly wet hands, roll into 1 inch balls, roll in breadcrumb mixture and place on oiled cookie sheet.

5.  bake for about 15-20 minutes.

{photo by patty}