mamas who inspire {heidi cicero}

well, now that i'm back in the work force and ignoring this blog, i thought i'd feature a mama who really inspired me to stay at home with beatrice as long as possible!  i love heidi's story for many reasons:  she's so fun and inspired with her child and really creates a sense of wonder and play...oliver is such a great kid and their family is so much fun...i mean they call themselves the chicken family and do a family dress up day as star wars characters!  how can you not love them...

she also never thought she wanted to have kids, so to see her really take on the mama role with all her heart is so inspiring.  we've had many conversations about how important it is to make time for your kids and what priorities are with a family.  although i've joined the ranks of working mamas for now, i know i'll be a stay at home mama again and heidi's immersion in that role is so inspiring...

heidi and i also spoke about feminism before i posted this...she was nervous about the way she portrays her role as a 1950's housewife...and you know, i think that's feminism too!!  feminism to me is making your own choices and loving your life and your role.  and heidi does that with gusto!

have you always wanted to be a mama?

I never thought I was going to be a mama. I was really happy being crazy auntie Mame in rhinestone caftans, and then I fell so in love with my sisters little girl Lily and we decided we would be crazy not to have a little chicken. 

tell me about your kid(s).

My amazing husband Andy and I have one boy named Olivio Kukui Cicero. We call him Oliver.  It's difficult to explain how incredible he is. He is kind and generous, loving and hysterically funny. Smart and and far more patient than me. I love looking at the world through his creative eyes. He is constantly teaching me to be a better person. Oliver is a super cool kid who can hang with the little ones or hold a stimulating conversation with the grown ups at the party (especially if the topic is Star Wars). The big six year old just walked into the room and he wants me to tell you his favorite color is green and his favorite animal is a rhino and that he is going to be a director. I think the Tim Burton exhibit made a very big impression on him. Once we decided to get preggers it happened super fast. 

what does stay at home mama mean to you?  do you miss your working life?

Does any mama really stay home ?  I am a glorified chauffeur between school, Karate and hangout's with his friends and mine. Sometimes I feel like I'm just as busy now as I was when I was working full time. I have a few clients that I dress and I'm starting a personal styling / costuming service for events, halloween, and theme parties. Because every woman or man deserves to be fabulous even if they're not a celebrity. I think everyone secretly likes to dress up, but not everyone loves to shop or has the time to find the perfect ensemble.   That's where I come in.  I kind of fancy myself a 1950's/60's  housewife, somewhere between Lucy and Laura Petrie (from the Dick van Dyke show). I know

 I will get a lot of flack for admitting this ( my sister in law is the editor for Ms. magazine.)  I can't help it though. I love being a mama and taking care of my family. I'm super happy when I can greet my man in the door way with a cool libation after a hard day at work wearing the perfect pink frock and cha cha heels. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in my own John Waters movie . I also appreciate how lucky I am that I don't have to work so I really like to pull my weight around the house.

what's your favorite thing about being a mama? how is your life different?
 I think my favorite part of being a mama is when Oliver looks up at me with those big brown eyes and says the magic words :" I love you Mama."  It's funny It feels sometimes like my life is the same but nothing is the same.


does alone time exist for you?  how do you take care of yourself?  what inspires you?
 During the school year I have lot's of alone time to do my projects and errands.  I am very inspired by mom's who find the happy balance in life.  My own parents were very supportive when I was a kid, even when I announced at the age of 7 that I wanted to be an actress like my older sisters. They always told me you could make anything happen. I think in order to be a terrific healthy mama today you need to have some projects or outlets that make you as an individual really happy. I think that is so important. We teach our kids to be creative individuals and if they aren't seeing you be one, well you get it.  We decided to go with the motto: "one and done." Although I had a really easy pregnancy , Oliver chose not to sleep regular hours for the first two years of his life. He was like a little cute vampire sleeping during the day and not at night.  So needless to say I was walking around like a zombie. Honestly, I love our decision.  We went from having no kids to having the most beautiful loving boy. You can't beat that! 


do you ever think you will return to the workforce?
Hmm maybe I will go back to acting and star in Oliver's first film.

mamas who inspire me {jillian lauren}

i was hoping to feature a mama a week, but mamas are well...busy!  although i've asked several mamas to participate, i knew that this might not be a weekly feature!  so i was thrilled to find a reply from my friend jillian lauren.  i've known jillian for a long time, but it wasn't until motherhood that we really got to know each other...jillian was a mama before i was, so i was able to watch her amazing journey unfold before we took our first steps towards having a child...


ever since i was young, i always thought adoption would be my way to motherhood...and although i gave birth to beatrice, i still feel that adoption is a beautiful and amazing gift and it could definitely be a way for us to continue to grow our family.  so jillian's story is especially inspiring to me as an adoptee and an adoptive mother.  jillian is a ridiculously talented woman and wicked smart.  i love that she is brutally honest about motherhood...the ups and downs...that means so much to me.  i am constantly striving for perfection, but in motherhood that's not possible.  what wonderful gifts jillian is able to give her son: love, honesty, humility and compassion.  and what a wonderful motherhood inspiration she is for us...

have you always wanted to be a mama?

Yes! But I definitely went through some dark times in my life when I doubted that I'd ever be able to pull it off. It took me longer than most people for me to really feel like I could properly care for myself. As soon as I had a basic handle on that, I knew I was ready for my family to grow.

how many kids do you have?  tell me about him?

I have one son named Tariku Moon. He's 3 1/2 and he's already gunning for world domination. This kid is a force of nature. I generally end my days weeping with exhaustion. He loves rock music and airplanes and dance parties and anything fast and dangerous. Come to think of it, I could describe his dad with that same sentence...

tell me about your adoption story.

 Scott and I tried to get pregnant for years and it got to a point where I was at a crossroads. I didn't want to continue down the road of fertility treatments and medical intervention. I just couldn't do it to my body anymore. I was adopted as a newborn and adoption has always been something I was interested in doing, so looking into it seemed like the next logical step. I met a woman who had adopted a child from Ethiopia and as soon as I looked at her photo album I just knew on some metaphysical level that my child was there. 

I did a bunch of research and read everything I could get my hands on and then Scott and I began the adoption process. it took about two years from the time we started to the day we got on a plane to Ethiopia to pick up our son. It was the most frustrating and wonderful and painful and incredible and mind-blowing time of my life. Until now that is. Motherhood blows it out of the water on all those fronts.

how do you balance your work/life load?

That's the million dollar question. I guess I never seem to find a satisfactory balance. There aren't enough hours in the day to be the kind of mom and the kind of artist I want to be. But both parenting and making art are such integral parts of who I am that I'm willing to keep banging my head against the wall trying to find that ever-elusive balance. 

what is your favorite thing about being a mama?  how is your life different?

My favorite thing about being a mama is my son's laugh. I've never had moments of such pure joy as when we're collapsing with laughter together. My other favorite thing about being a mama is how much I surprise myself every day- both in the ways I succeed and in the ways I fail and am forced to try again. 

How is my life different? How is my life not different? Absolutely everything about my life has been transformed by motherhood. Even the things that aren't obvious. The lens through which I look at the world has been profoundly altered. 

 

does "alone time" exist for you?  how do you take care of yourself?

Alone time does exist for me. I insist on it. Scott is a musician, so when he's out of town it's definitely harder. But usually his one-on-one time with Tariku is in the morning, so I'll use those hours to go exercise- to go for a run or a hike and just let the early morning quiet sink in. I also try to get to the occasional yoga or dance class- not as regularly as I'd like, but I take what I can get and it makes such a difference.

tell me about your job?  how does it affect you as a mother?  and how does motherhood affect your work?

I'm a writer and a performer and I think that in some ways it's a great job to have as a parent and in others it feels practically impossible. I often work from home, so I get to see T during the day- have lunch with him or give him a kiss when he takes a nap. I wouldn't trade it, but it can be hard to work with a toddler screaming for you at the bottom of the stairs. But he's used to it by now and so am I!

When I'm performing it's harder because it impinges on our evening hours together and I feel like that's generally the time when we're most connected. But it only ever happens in short bursts. The up side of being in the arts is that when Scott and I are around, we're around more than most parents with normal jobs. And when I have down time, I make sure to spend almost all of it with him. I have very little social life and that's fine with me. 

who/what inspires you as a mother?

I am inspired by my mom friends and other mom bloggers (like you!) every day. I think that our honesty and openness with each other as moms is such an essential component of feeling connected and staving off the loneliness. I'm particularly inspired these days by other moms who are fighting to make good creative work and to get it out there in the world. 

what other projects do you have besides work & family?

I don't really have any other projects! I've been knitting the same dog sweater for three years. I guess I have waves of being into cooking and gardening, but those things fall by the wayside more often than not. 

tell me about a typical day in your life.

I usually wake before the boys and slip out to run or do a quick early-morning yoga class. Then it's back for breakfast and the morning get-ready routine, which can seem like it takes anywhere from 15 minutes to about 12 hours on a bad day. Then I write from 9-4 and take over with Tariku after nap. We go to the park or ride bikes or jump on the trampoline. Anything to try to wear him out and insure a reasonable bedtime (good luck with that). Then it's dinner, bath, books, bed. We've got a real rock and roll lifestyle around here. 

wanna find out more about jillian:
website

twitter

blog

today mom contributor

the nest contributor

mamas who inspire me {jorjee douglass}

i've been wanting to start a little series about mamas who inspire me...inspiration comes in so many forms, from so many places: mamas i know in "real life," mamas from around the blogosphere, straight mamas, queer mamas, single mamas, married mamas, working mamas, stay at home mamas, work from home mamas, ap mamas, crunchy mamas, adoptive mamas, birth mamas, butch mamas, older mamas, younger mamas...i take some inspiration from across the board...i look to those who have joined the mama club before me for guidance and support...so i wanted to find out more about motherhood from them and share some of these women with you...


first up is one of my best friends....i've known jorjee douglass since the early 90's when we both lived in san francisco, rummaging through thrift stores, going to rock shows, and enjoying the pre-dot-com wild, artsy and free frontier that it was.  now that we have both found ourselves in los angeles, i'm not sure how jorjee even found time to respond to me...she wears so many hats: wife, mama, make-up artist to the stars, a founding member of the citizen's band, singer/songwriter, fashion icon, blogger...but i remember when she told me she was pregnant and how excited i was...she was probably one of my first friends to have a baby and somehow that made it seem more real for me...jorjee, being one of the most creative and fun people i know, is one of those mamas that brings love, light, magic and humor to her family and to everyone she meets.


have you always known you wanted to be a mama?
yes!  i have always known i'd be a mama, but coming from an overly large family of eight, i always thought i would adopt a child.  i used to dream of being adopted and treated like a queen. i never had the urge to have my own until it was almost too late--i was 40!

 {jorjee eight months pregnant performing with the citizen's band}

tell me about your kids.

i have one girl.  she just turned four.  her name is maude mary feathers boddie.  i can't just tell you about her without making this 100 pages long!  she is the smartest lady i know!  i love her and respect her so much, and that's just putting it mildly!  i wish i were her...ha ha, i don't really, but i'm just blown away by her awesomeness daily!

{maude, at two years old,  following in her mamas footsteps painting pretty faces}

how did you find out you were pregnant?

while i was at work.  i lived in new york at the time, but i was on a job in los angeles {payless shoes commercial!} and i could just tell!  it went something like this:  "i think i'm preggers i'm gonna go buy a test at cvs on the way to work" and i did.  when i had a break, i walked across the street and took the test in the public bathroom at peet's coffee.  positive!

since you are a working mama, how do you balance your work/life load?

i don't really balance it...i live like a junkie, i fill myself up as much as i can with my daughter and family when i have time off and don't see that much of my friends, that's my trade off.  but i have great quality time with maude.  when i work the days are 12-14 hours so it gets hard!  i try to arrange for her to come to set after school so we can hang out for at least an hour.

what is your favorite thing about being a mama?

i'm not really doing anything that differently...i think i've always been a mama!

does "alone time" exist for you?  how do you take care of yourself?

i go to a korean spa and soak every few months...i stay up late and watch bad tv or i get up before everyone else in the house.

tell me about your job?  how does it affect you as a mother?

i'm a make-up artist, so my daughter looks pretty all the time!  {laughs!}

who/what inspires you as a mama?

maude inspires me and her future well being.  come to think of it, i'm very inspired by my sister-in-law, liz.  she can do everything and does it in an awesome witchy way.  hello glitter play doh!

what other projects do you have besides work & family?

i am a founding member of the citizen's band, a performance troupe in new york...i also write things...and i've just started a hippie band collective with my husband and your wife called canyon people...we're making honest dirty rock'n'roll for all with a rotating cast of guest star characters!

wanna find out more about jorjee:
twitter
make up ghost blog
hello giggles contributor

kids helping kids...

how amazing is this kid? so inspiring to see other kids giving back to help each other! he's raising money for one of my favorite charities, the pablove foundation.

go vote for him now!

happy friday...donate toys!

happy friday, folks!

what are you up to this weekend? if you are in los angeles, please consider donating toys to children's hospital los angeles. they have run out of toys! it breaks my heart to think of kids in the hospital at all, let alone on christmas, so please consider brightening one child's life this season...since they only accept new toys, i try to purchase eco-friendly wooden toys, that are safe and non-toxic. these kids are already so exposed to toxins, why expose them to more...

in fact, continue to spread the love for children with cancer, eschew the gift giving frenzy and for the adults in your life, consider a donation to a favorite charity. one of my favorites is the pablove foundation, fighting childhood cancer with love. the foundation was started by our friends, jeff & jo ann, who lost their sweet boy, pablo to cancer. they have turned their struggle into an amazing foundation that helps other kids...truly an inspiration.

{photo credit: oompa.com}

baby nursery inspiration...

i don't mean for this to turn into a baby blog, but i got baby on the brain! so my posts have been a bit erratic, as all i can think about is baby, and i don't only want to post baby, baby, baby!!

but...it is a girl! and now i'm working on the nursery. eventually it will be a bit more rock'n'roll like this nursery, but now i just need the basics. plus, i think we'll have her in our bed for the first six months at least, but i feel like i want to have the nursery ready before she comes, as i'm sure i'll be overwhelmed once she's here! so here's some inspiration...

{nursery color palette: black, grey, pale pink, dark pink, green}

we inherited a black jenny lind crib. i wanted a jenny lind crib, but not necessarily in black. so now i'm working with what i have...i'm so grateful to have a hand-me-down...now i just have to buy an organic mattress! the other items i have in the room are a vintage vanity and a vintage chest of drawers, both in an oak wood. i also inherited a wood diaper changer that fits perfectly on top of the chest of drawers...so the overall look is definitely going to be antique eclectic...pretty much my style! as with everything, reduce, reuse, recycle. so i love the hand-me-downs and vintage pieces!

wall color...i'm thinking a very pale, pale pink likebehr (zero VOC of course!) reverie pink. that way, the black crib will look great and since the crib is black we can go pink accessories without going too girly!

so for the basic bedding, i think we're going for a simple grey with pink throw pillows from plover organics. one thing that was really important to me was to find organic bedding. the baby will be spending a lot of time in this bed and it should be free from pesticides. it's pretty hard to find organic crib bedding that i like, so i was pretty excited to find plover organics.

i love this sweet bird mobile from bla bla kids. everything on their site is so sweet. i'm trying to avoid plastics, so i only want knit & wood toys, organics even better!

the lighting in the room right now is not so cute...i'd love to get a cute chandelier like this one from ginger's choice on etsy.

maybe some cute fabric organizer bins like this one from sew gracious on etsy to organize all the eco-friendsly, wooden & knit toys!

so those are the basics of the nursery...we have a small bookcase and rocker that i need to figure out. the rocker is white fabric & i'd love to cover it in something cuter. i also have way more books than will fit on the tiny bookcase, so i'm on the hunt for a cute bookcase...i'll probably troll craigslist to find something that will work with the eclectic decor...

and artwork! there is so much cute artwork out there, i'm going to have to do a separate post...

{photo credits: 1. making it lovely; 2. home depot; 3 & 4. plover organics; 5. bla bla kids; 6. ginger's choice; 7. sew gracious}

if we have a girl...

this will be her nursery inspiration. drum kit & dj lance included. {click on photo to view larger.}

{photo credit here.}

bask in the glow of pablo

it's so easy to get caught up in the blogs and go into a "compare & despair" mode...my wedding wasn't as blank, i don't have as much money as blank and i want blank, if i only had blank, things would be better...blah, blah, blah...{thanks, esb for reminding us we all have what we need.}

this weekend, i was reminded that i really truly have everything i need. i was literally jolted into a change of perspective. as we were walking to a 4th of july barbeque, we walked past dangerbird records and saw the painting on the side of the building dedicated to pablo castelez, a sweet six-year old boy, who days earlier had lost his battle with cancer. i started sobbing...this sweet, innocent little boy had fought so courageously with a terminal disease and i'm worrying about whether or not i should buy this or that...what a way to put things into perspective. i have a rich, beautiful and full life and i'm grateful for each moment of the day.

i'd been following pablo's dad's blog about pablo for a few months. {pablo's dad, jeff, is an old work acquaintance of patty's, and although i've never met pablo or his dad, i felt a very close connection to them.} i've been away from the blogs lately {including pablo's} so i hadn't read that pablo had passed. last night i spent a while reviewing the posts that jeff had written about his passing.

i truly believe that *everything* happens for a reason. and that i'm not necessarily privy to what that reason is...the universe is a much bigger force than i am. i did however, find it very difficult to hold on to this belief after i found out that pablo had died. why do children have to suffer? {yes, the quintessential spiritual conundrum...}

his dad's posts, although incredibly sad, were so inspirational and positive...he and his family truly were grateful for the time they had with pablo and accepting of the greater force of the universe. they have established a foundation to help other young children with cancer, called pablove foundation. through their grief, comes strength, love and compassion for others. from pablo, i can learn to remember find joy every minute of every single day. is that the reason for pablo's passing? i don't know and i'm not going to try to figure it out. but rather i'm going to bask in the glow of pablo and pass along the light and love.

rip pablo thrailkill castelaz june 21, 2003- june 27, 2009

other folks weddings: {p. david & todd}

p. david and todd are two of my best friends in the world and they were the officiants at our wedding, so it's appropriate that i feature them as my first {male} same-sex wedding! they are a true inspiration, they have been together for eighteen years and they have the most beautiful, loving marriage i have ever had the privilege to witness. they have actually been married three times {!!}: once in 1999 at the beautiful union station in los angeles, which todd is writing about; again in san francisco at city hall when it became legal {i was their witness}; and for a third time this past june before prop 8 was overturned. the third time they were also married at union station, but it was a very quick ceremony outside, with drinks at the bar after! {third time a charm?!} i asked todd to write about their first {main} wedding ceremony at union station, so take it away, todd:

{a first date}

{first wedding: december 1999, union station, los angeles}

{second wedding: february 2004, city hall, san francisco}

{third wedding: june 2008, union station, los angeles}

We got married on the 8th anniversary of our first date on 12/21/99 which makes 2009 the year of our 10th wedding anniversary and 18th year together.

A lot like your wedding, we didn't have a big budget so all of our best people and a few other amazing friends worked with us transforming the Fred Harvey Room at Union Station into a winter wonderland. We worked all day, all get gussied up, got married and then we were all stuffing trash bags in our formal wear at midnight. A true community effort!

P. David is a producer so he approached it like a one day shoot which was very effective. We also learned half way through to stop using the word "wedding" to vendors. When we were just having a big party the prices dropped drastically every time. Especially where the cake was concerned.

Important was to have best friends near. Only regret was that we were missing a few key friends (wink). {note from christina: i was unable to make their first wedding in 1999, but i went to the other two!}

My favorite part of the day (night, actually) was right after we were pronounced husbands for life. Everything looked a little sharper and warmer. Things have never looked the same since.

We DIYed pretty much everything. We rented tables, piano, plates, glasses. We did all the decorations, music, food, drink and had Ebersole-Hughes mugs made from an office supply place online as the momento. We had lots of help from friends.

One piece of advice: Stay in the moment. Stay focused on your spouse so you remember everything.

amazing women on wednesday {belles of the black diamond field}

my dear friend, sarah sophie flicker and her directing partner, maximilla lukacs, together form the belles of the black diamond field.  they base their filmmaking on the vulnerability manifesto, championing femininity and softness, while deriving power from those qualities. sarah and i used to live in san francisco together and she's indirectly responsible for introducing me to patty years and years ago.  she now lives in new york and since moving there has launched some fabulous projects.  i love to follow her work and see what's next...i thought i'd put her on your radar too.  sarah is also a founding member of the citizens band {remember the knee-highs?}

"lay down lean" is based on an edna st. vincent millay poem and "god ain't gonna put it in your lap" is a look at revolutionary women 1900 to the present.  i love their film philosophy...and the cinematography and vintage stylings are gorgeous.  have a look at some of their work and be inspired...

{photo by alia penner}

wedding invites {leigh from milkfed press}

i know my blog hasn't been very wedding-y lately...but i *had* to repost these when i stumbled across them on design*sponge.  this fabulous invite suite is a collaboration from victoria at milkfed press and artist leigh wells.  not only are the colors fab and fun, but you can choose the icons that suit you:  boy/girl, boy/boy, or girl/girl.  genius. way to go and include every couple!  i love it.  more information here, scroll down to leigh.

{images from milkfed press via design*sponge}

reduce, reuse, recycle: {fluttery paper hanging trees}

i'm loving all the fluttery, flow-y, paper garlands and hanging decorations i'm seeing all over...what a fun diy project and reuse of paper, sheet music, magazines, sewing patterns, old books, memories, etc?  great for a garden wedding or party...

{photos 1,2: one love photo via a practical wedding; photos 3-7: royal buffet via oh so beautiful paper; photo 8: flickr via green wedding shoes; photo 9: flickr; photos 10, 11: everyday beauty via two brides}