steady as she grows {one year}...a little late!

so this post is about a week late...beatrice turned one year on sept thirteenth...we had a picnic birthday party for her in the park at the silver lake rec center...lots of her little friends came and my aunt, who is a children's librarian read stories & lead us all in rhymes and songs.  we made cute bee puppets as party favors and i made her a bee birthday crown...it was a really sweet day!

beatrice is really coming into her own...she is walking, babbling and developing her own preferences. she's picked up a few signs: milk, dog, more and all done. she definitely has a sweet tooth like her mama...those crumbs you see on one of the pictures are from the banana muffin "cupcakes" i made for her party.  she still hasn't had any sugar other than fruit and molasses {iron rich!}...so those muffins were sweetened with molasses, applesauce and bananas, all of which she loves.  fruit is definitely her favorite...i'm working on making sure she gets the vitamins she needs from her food and making lots of things like small balls out of sweet potatoes with veggies and other goodies inside.  she loves to hold them and eat them herself.  she doesn't like me feeding her, but isn't quite able to feed herself with a spoon or fork, so the little balls she can hold work great.  {i'll post some recipes soon.}

she is fast...she loves running about and exploring!  she's also getting more cuddly and likes to sit in our laps for a book.  but not for long, she's off and running after a few pages usually!  she loves music and has started dancing!  she also loves going to drum and music circles...she loves shoes {yeah, like mother like daughter} and often insists on putting her shoes on when she's playing at home.  her laugh is contagious and she is quick to smile, flashing her two teeth on top and two teeth on the bottom.  she's very social and at play groups rarely looks for mama...she is off and exploring and socializing!

now...the big reason for the delay in posting:  i went back to work.  i while back, i posted about staying home with beatrice and my struggle with that.  again, i chose to stay home with beatrice, and to me feminism is all about choice.  unfortunately, going back to work wasn't entirely by choice...it was definitely out of financial necessity.  now, here's to say there aren't many positives to going back to work.  my main concern was beatrice, obviously.  since we try to adhere to the attachment parenting {ap}philosophy, i really thought it was important that her main caregiver was one of her parents.  i know that ap is possible with a working parent, but i felt very strongly about having a parent with her at least until she goes to pre-school.  so we decided to swap: i'm going back to work and patty is staying at home with beatrice.

this was a huge struggle for me.  i mean, i *live* for being a mom.  i love staying home with her, taking her to play dates, cooking for  her, washing her diapers, all of it.  so the thought of going back to work and leaving her for a significant part of the day was heart wrenching.  on top of it, i'm still breastfeeding. obviously, since she's one, it's not her main source of nutrition, but she loves it...and i do, too.  so i'm working out a schedule where i can work from home a few days a week, and on the days i go to the office, patty brings bea out during the day so we can have a mid-day nursing session.  thankfully where a work is a beautiful ranch in the santa monica mountains {even though it's a long drive}, it's a nice place for beatrice to play and frolic among the wildlife...

here's the one thing that made this decision easier: patty wanted to stay home with beatrice and have a chance to bond with her.  only good things can come from that!  she can go to all the parenting classes that i got to go to, she can meet beatrice's play mates, she can learn to wear beatrice on her back and take her on walks, she can bond with beatrice and she can see what being a stay-at-home mom is all about.  a friend said to me: "you are demonstrating to beatrice that your relationship is a true partnership and cooperative family."  i love that idea that because we are both primary care-givers, beatrice will understand the idea of cooperation and partnership.

so...it's still hard...only been a week...and there are definitely going to be hiccups!  but just these few days have taught me to focus on the positive and let go and let things happen the way they are meant to happen...beatrice will be fine...she'll be better than fine, in fact, because she is loved.  we are providing her with consistent and loving care and maximizing the her bond with both her parents.