with the upcoming election and the debate over prop 8, i've been thinking a lot about semantics. we were planning our wedding months before the historic supreme court decision that essentially made it legal for us to get married. what i am uncomfortable with is the term "gay marriage." we simply got married. we didn't get "civil unionized" or "domestic partnered," we got married and we happen to be gay. sometimes i feel that the "gay" in front of the wedding implies that we are "separate but equal."
i am guilty of the use myself--i've even "highlighted" gay wedding blogs versus just wedding blogs. it's a bit of a catch-22, i want the inclusion and the acceptance alongside any other wedded couple, but i still feel the need to single us out as "gay." part of me thinks it's about visibility--if we point and celebrate our "difference" {gay versus straight}, then the recognition and acceptance will follow. but inclusion without distinction is what we are after. isn't that what fighting prop 8 is all about? the right to have a wedding. plain and simple. so i guess i'll vacillate between the two--i'm proud that we had a wedding and we happen to be gay, but still feel that our wedding is no different than any other--it was a celebration of love in front of our community.
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2 comments:
I totally agree with you. I want it both ways. I want to just be another couple getting married, but also want to celebrate how special and different what I am doing is.
right, adam? especially since there are so few of us {at least in the blogger world}, the visibility is so important...we'll just keep doing what we are doing & hopefully the rest of the world will catch up...
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